Teaching your child to embrace a newborn baby

Geeta was taken back when her older child said, "I hate the baby!  You love the baby more than you love me! The baby is yucky, take her back!" Feelings like this is common as the first born feels slightly jealous when there is a new child in the house that is competing for affection, emotional time, and attention of their parents. This could show up as temper tantrums, acting out and regressive behavior.

Experts are of the opinion that this territorial revelry is common not only in toddlers, but in older children as well. Parents need to teach their child to embrace a newborn baby.

Firstly it is futile to force your child to love the new sibling; it would prove effective to recognize what may be going on with the older child and respect the emotions. Parents need to let the older child to express one’s feelings even if they are negative. Then the parent need to empathize with the child about how hard it must be for him/her to share mummy and daddy.

True, children also need a platform to express their feelings as adults; it allows them to vent their frustration and validate their feelings and not just sweep them away automatically.

Try to keep your older child on the same schedule as he/she needs consistency when one’s whole world is turned upside down.

Next ensure that you or your spouse spends some quality time exclusively with the older child taking him/her for a walk, read a book or take part in some activity that your child likes.  

Ensure that you reward a good deed that the older child does to her younger sibling; it could be emotionally like a kiss or praise or materially.

Lastly respect your child's boundaries and possessions and acknowledge that everything need not be shared and some toys and books are exclusively for him/her.

Great Games to promote reading in your kid

Reading is an important skill that each child needs to master to be able to gather a wealth of information. It does not come naturally for many kids, so do not let your child miss on the joys with reading though entertaining and enjoyable reading games.

A few reading games that help improve literary skills of a kid:

a)    Find an item:

The game meant for beginners keeps a child that is just learning to read to focus on the sound that each letter makes. Play this game in a playroom where your child has plenty of items to choose from; say the sound of a letter like “r” and challenge your child to find something that starts with it. The child should be able to say rag or roll; give her/him one point for each item one finds and then congratulate him/her for the points he/she earned.

Practice would make your child better in sounds and will lay the groundwork for him/her to sound words out as he/she begins to actually read words

.b) Find a word:

This game is meant for beginner readers; this game is a powerful way to allow your child to focus on content to practice reading and teach important concepts at the same time. This game can be played by a group of children or you and your child, if there are no other children.

Cut a piece of paper into squares and write a letter and category of words like animal or a food on each ensuring you skip uncommon letters, such as "q" and "x. Put the letters into a bowl and let each child draw one out a slip by turn. Tell your child what the letter and category is and let him/her write one word for each category; for example if the letter is “e” then elephant could be an animal and egg a food. Give your child 5 minutes to write down the answers; do not insist on the correct spelling as spelling can be tricky for beginning readers.

Award a point for each correct answer; the child with the most points is the winner. You could promote the reading skills further by having your child write a sentence using as many of the words he came up with.

c) Pick a Stick

An ideal game for intermediate readers; place wooden craft sticks on which commands like "hop on your left foot 10 times" or "turn in 4 circles" is written in a plastic cup. Each child draws a stick out of the cup, reads it and performs the action; he/she gets a point if successful. This game continues till all the sticks are exhausted; the winner is the one with the most points.

      This game not only boosts reading skills, but also reinforces reading skills already learned, such as recognizing sight words and number words. It also engages both sides of the brain as the whole body is engaged that proves to be helpful in improving reading skills and becoming a more advanced reader.

d) Cover a passage

 This is a game for advanced readers; it involves asking the child to read a passage from his/her favorite book/magazine, covering the passage   and then reciting what he/she just read.  Reading skills are best improved by choosing material that will engage and interest your child. Award a point for each passage she recites correctly, and award yourself a point if she leaves out words or forgets portions.

Gradually make the passages longer as you play and ask questions to jog your child's memory. Through this game you would not only provide your child with an opportunity to read content, but also to learn new things as he/she reads.

To conclude reading games are fun and build reading skills, but they cannot be a replacement for reading to your child; make time to read to your child even if your child can read independently.

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How to take care of a newborn baby in its early weeks

Motherhood is a delightful experience, with most new mothers may be confused about how they will feed, swaddle, hold and soothe the newborn. This article is meant to give tips to new parents for tackling this new responsibility.

Tips to care for the newborn in the first few weeks:

Holding your newborn:

You can bond best with your baby by holding him/her; hold the baby in one hand as a football player holds a ball. First place your baby in your forearm facing you with two to three fingers supporting the head, let your one hand be free. It is most important to know that though newborns are not as fragile as we think, it is necessary to provide support to the head and neck.  

Sleeping tips for your newborn:  

Newborn babies need much sleep; some sleep up to 20 hours in a day. So it is essential that you encourage your baby to take regular naps; this means keeping the environment peaceful and feeding the baby well.

When a baby is 3-4 months old, both breast and bottle fed babies sleep for about 9-12 hours in a row though most pediatricians opine it is only much later.

Diaper changes during nights should be kept as short as possible; daytime napping should be minimized and nighttime napping maximized. This will teach the baby the difference between daytime and nighttime.

The best way to avoid Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is to put your baby to sleep on his back. Avoid keeping any plush toys in the crib, use a firm mattress, and don’t allow/do smoking in the presence of the newborn.

Basics of newborn feeding:

Though breast feeding is the best nutrition for babies, there is nothing wrong with formula feeding if you cannot breastfeed.

Each feeding lasts for 20 to 60 minutes and a baby should be fed every 2 to 3 hours or more frequently if the baby is hungry. During the first few weeks, newborns take about 1 to 3 ounces of breast milk or formula at each feeding.  

An important sign that your baby is not getting enough calories is when your baby sleeps for 6 to 10 hours continuously.

Weight gain is an important indicator that your baby is having enough of breast milk or formula. The best person who can tell you that your baby is gaining weight appropriately is your pediatrician.

Soothing a crying baby:

Crying is the main means of communication for the baby; you will soon learn to realize if your baby is hungry, tired or needs to be held.  

If your baby does not stop crying in spite of your best efforts, it is best to take your baby for a walk or drive. Some babies are soothed by singing, dancing or rocking; reggae music helps as many reggae songs beat roughly 60 to 80 times per minute, like our heart.

Safe and tight swaddle with a correct size blanket 44" x 44 with practice of the swaddle-folding technique helps.

Burping of the baby also helps soothe a crying baby.

Changing diapers:

Babies urinate about 3 to 10 times daily and may have 1 to 8 bowel movements. Change your baby’s diaper every couple of hours and whenever he/she is dirty.

Babies are of various sizes and shapes, so use an appropriate diaper. Also choosing the best diaper brand for your baby is also important; it comes down mostly to trial and error.

 At every diaper change  ensure that you wipe your newborn front to back and also use a diaper rash ointment that is recommended by the pediatrician; this will prevent diaper rash.

The choice of a cloth or disposable diaper is more a question of personal choice. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Ensure that you release the inner elastic that often gets 'glued' down to the inner portion of the diaper in tightly packed diaper packages.

Hope these tips will help you to comfortably care for your baby during the first few weeks.  

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How to choose the right Driving Nanny

In today’s stressful professional lifestyle it is tough to take care of your job and handle the daily responsibilities of dropping off your kid at school, picking them up and driving them around to soccer games or tuitions and getting them back home. Even if you have the time, it can be tiring after an entire day at work to drive around in peak hour traffic. This is where a Driving Nanny comes in handy.

Driving Nannies are regular Nannies who are also skilled enough to drive your kids around safely. But for most parents, it is a confusing decision to make! Leaving your kids under a Nanny’s supervision at home is easier but not so with the dangers of the road. Here are a few tips to help you choose the right Driving Nanny for your children,

Check the driving record

It is always good to start by checking the records. Speeding tickets, accidents, reckless driving – these are a few things that shouldn’t be on her rap sheet! Minor infractions can be given a leeway, especially if it was a long time ago maybe when she was learning to drive. Check for a clean sheet in the last few years and hopefully no strikes on her license right now if you plan to keep her as a nanny for long.

Inspect the car

Many families have their own car for Nannies to drive their kids around. A few are not comfortable with that and prefer the Nanny using her car for driving their kids around. If the car used is not yours, inspect the car thoroughly. Look for safety and ensure that there are Isofix seat anchors. Check how safe the car model is and if possible get it serviced at your expense before starting the run.

Insure her and the car!

If the Nanny is driving your car, insure her as well as add the driver profile to your car’s insurance policy without fail. If she is driving around in her car, make sure she has insurance. A small fender bender shouldn’t upset your financial plans for the month.

Discuss terms

Set the rules for gas, maintenance, toll, parking and service costs reimbursement. Will you be covering it in her salary or does she expect you to reimburse it separately? If it is going to be reimbursement, then request for the bills – there is nothing wrong in doing that!

Ensure that you are not taken for a ride but at the same time be a bit considerate. If she loses a toll slip or gets a parking slip because your kid made her wait – reimburse that without nit picking. After all, she is the one who brings your child back home safe and sound.

Tips to deal with a stubborn child

Firstly it would be useful to know why some kids are stubborn. Children are stubborn as they want to develop defense mechanisms to psychological balance in the face of life challenges that is as a result of the experiences they pass through earlier in their lives.  Some other  children become stubborn due to the over protective attitude of parents that makes them decide everything for the child; the child builds a defense mechanism that helps him/her to stick to one’s opinion. True, all stubborn children are the product of our controlling and over protective behavior.

Realize that being stubborn is not bad. Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a Philadelphia pediatrician and author of "Letting Go with Love and Confidence," says that "Independence is good"; we as parents surely want our children to ultimately be able to question authority and come up with a great solution. Being stubborn at 30 is good, but at 5 it is troublesome for parents and we want cooperation and respect.

Tips to deal with a stubborn child:

Since a stubborn child feels he/she should protect oneself and not be controlled by others, it is extremely important that parents make the child feel that he/she is in control even if he/she is not. Stubborn behavior can be tackled by parents when they set a fine and clear line between being strict and being too permissive and leave some leeway.

If your stubborn child starts a conflict, just step back and figure out if you really want to fight; your job is not only to set limits and boundaries that keep your child safe, but also to ensure he/she feels somewhat independent.

True having clear consistency around safety is essential so you can react in a way that is expected and appropriate. You should convey to your child that you love, trust and enjoy him/her and allow one freedom, but not at the expense of safety.

 The most intelligent way to deal with a stubborn child is not to give direct orders but give him/her 2 options that lead to the same goal. For example instead of telling the stubborn kid that he must wear his shirt, you can ask him whether he wants to wear the blue or the red shirt. Remember that it would be enough to not trigger his/her  stubbornness as he/she will feel in control and the parent also fulfills his/her final goal.

Pick a new focus by not complaining to others about your stubborn kid; let them overhear the good stuff and vent in private. Give attention to the behavior you wish to see in them, then you will help them to be their best.

Try new approaches; what worked last week may not this week. The trick is to redirect your kid when they are good and not give too much negative attention that will give him/her some control.

Boundaries are about safety and respect with other human beings, your kids need resilience to be able to advocate for them when they are teens and adults. With practice they can learn how to get their point across in a way that shows respect for others so they will be listened to as well.

Lastly channelize your kid’s stubbornness into persistence for facing life’s problems. A stubborn child can become a very persistent adult if he was taught how to channel his stubbornness in the right direction.

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Parenting made simple - 10 important tips

Do you want to simplify your life as a parent, slow down and enjoy a sense of ease and calm? I am sure all of us would like to do it as parents; this is best done by streamlining your responsibilities so you have quality time to spend with your family. By simplifying our own life, we will also be simplifying our child's and will encourage him/her to value his loved ones.

 Here are 10 important tips to make parenting simple: 

1. Identify what each room is for and stick to it:

Creating a purpose for each room helps; clear homework, art projects and other paper from the dining room and put your kids' backpacks, gym shoes and school textbooks in their rooms. You would then not have to stare at mess and would feel more relaxed.

2. Remove the clutter:

This is very important to get a sense of freedom. You should move all recycling and trash and put things where they actually belong. You could fill boxes with stuff you no longer need and donate them to charity; this would not only give you the pleasure of giving, but would also clear up the space that they were occupying.

3. Create a family routine:

Things move more smoothly this way as kids and other family members know what to expect and what is expected of them. This involves fixing time for meals, when children should go out to classes and sports and when they get up in the morning and go to bed at night.

4. Plan the week’s dinners as a family:

You could simplify the process by creating a rotating daily menu that remains the same week after week; this helps get family time and removes guesswork out of planning meals. Family dinners are a times that act as an anchor for family togetherness.

5.  Analyze and cut down the quantity of toys by 50%:

Work together with your child and analyze the toys he/she plays with and those he/she no longer plays or wants; it would be about 50%. Donate them to charity to teach your child important lessons in being generous.

. Spend time as a family outside:

Spend time outside in nature going out for family hikes, picnics by the lake or in a park or just flying a kite; spending time outside needs no elaborate planning, but creates calm with lots of great rewards. Spending time outside could encourage your child to be active and participate in physical activities.

7. Children need some unscheduled time or playtime: 

   Avoid over-scheduling as children need time to play, get creative with his/her toys, to get imaginative and spend time with parents and siblings. This would not only ease stress, but promote feelings of happiness; our true moments of connection are often in unscheduled down time.

8. Limit screen time to promote human interaction:

Screen time and electronics can be pretty distracting; let TV, computer and video games occupy a small part of the daily schedule.

9. Reduce sensory overload and create a quiet and serene home:

This involves minimizing or avoiding loud music, blaring televisions and bright lights that would distract and interfere with other interactions. Creating a quiet and serene home involves playing soft music and dimming the lights.

10. Do not hover over your kids and leave them alone:

Leave your kids alone by giving them freedom to read a book, play with their toys or do an art project on their own. However let them know that you are there.  

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Child Care Options

Child care is one of the most fun yet tedious types of cares among all other cares. Lack of basic knowledge regarding the various options used in Child Care can lead to complicated situations and can in turn affect the child.

For this reason getting familiar with the various commonly used childcare options is essential. Read on and find out about some of the commonly used Child Care Options … 

Nanny/Babysitter - A nanny or babysitter is employed by the family either on a live-in or live-out basis to perform all the childcare duties. Apart from taking care of the child, nannies usually perform some domestic tasks related to the child’s care.

Mother's Help - Mother’s helper need not have previous childcare experience. They generally assist parents with childcare and in some cases also in the housekeeping duties. 

Child Care Center/Day Care Center - This provides care for children in premises particularly built for child care purposes. They provide developmental programs within their care programs. Daycare centers usually provide meals and snacks for the children.

Family Day Care – This is a type of center that provides care services for other children in their own house. These centers provide care for children under the age group of 3 as well as older children up to 12 years of age.

Before / After School Care – this is a center to provide care and supervise the school age children. They even provide recreational activities for the children. 

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